Every week or two, a new patient complains that their partner rarely initiates sex. The new patient expects me to figure out why—and more importantly, how to get their partner to change and initiate more.
People who rarely initiate sex fall into one of three categories, which we’ll discuss below.
But let’s also look at the inverse: why do some people get so distressed when their partner doesn’t initiate?
Despite the extraordinary amount of good information that’s available, the number of people who are sexually frustrated, disappointed, confused, anxious, or clueless hasn’t declined. In fact, young people today have less sex than young people did 10, 20, or 30 years ago.
The reasons include the usual suspects: selecting an incompatible partner; religious & cultural beliefs that sexual desire is dangerous; poor communication skills; insecurity about desires, fantasies, or one’s body.
But today there’s another culprit undermining sexual desire and satisfaction: social media.
2023 was a full year for Sexual Intelligence.
My newsletter now goes to almost 8,000 people every month. That’s in addition to my Sexual Intelligence blog for Psychology Today, which gets 1,100 hits per DAY.
This year I covered my usual topics: making sex more enjoyable; examining America’s War on Sex; explaining & critiquing sex therapy and couples therapy; and sex in the news, including both dark and light-hearted…
Alice Kahn Ladas, lead author of the 1982 best-seller The G Spot: And Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality,” died recently, age 102.
After the clitoral revolution of the 1970s, she affirmed many women’s preference for vaginal intercourse. This led…
Every week, people tell me exactly how they make sex way too complicated, and therefore difficult or impossible to enjoy. Here are some ways they do that.
I wish I could just say “Stop making sex more complicated than necessary…”
Last week I gave a weekend retreat for a dozen couples in Chicago. They wanted bedroom tricks; instead, I focused on self-acceptance, relaxation, being present, and communication. Why is this more important?